she was so not down for the gang bang
Nicole vs. Life
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
