and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
