I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize