Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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