I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
