He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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