I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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