I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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