everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize