My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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