bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
