none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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