i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
