Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
