it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The uberlube is also flammable
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
