how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
