I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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