DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
