I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
