im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
soo... how was my night?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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