sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
