i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
