i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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