Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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