Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
