she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
