I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
