so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
