He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
