haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
