I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize