and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
