there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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