dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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