remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
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