friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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