it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I need a beard to bite.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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