Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize
