Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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