we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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