I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
