omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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