you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
