Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
