so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
