Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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