is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
