people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
