The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
