I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
