Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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