waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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