jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
North Korea, Best Korea!
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
