Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
