brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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