how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
