Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
