Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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